Friendships and why some of mine need a relaxing massage

Sssshhhh, we are doing this again. I'm sorry, you probably didn't want another post, but what can I say? I want you.

I will first begin at a friendship I had in elementary school. Being a painful experience, I will shrink back into 'sloth mode' and try to slowly move away from the pick-up truck that is my sadness. I will speak about this in such away, my sloth self would be proud of my real self.

What's up with me and sloths?

When I was in fourth grade, I met a girl. Her name was Grace and she was my next door neighbor. Now, I loved Grace as a sister. We were closer than close. Even though we did not attend the same school, we saw each other every weekend. 11.a.m to whatever time she could convince her nanny (sometimes parents) to stay at my house for. Usually, it meant an epic sleep over.

Like the kids we were, we used to play with dolls. We did this whole thing where I would make the plots and she would help act them. I was "Chad" and he was a German Shepard ( as I remember, a pretty hot one) and she was "Maddie" a Poodle (a curious hopeless romantic). In 5th grade we made a pact: to never stop playing with Chad and Maddie. Not even in High School.

But as good stories go, something happened in Middle School that would probably for ever change my life.

Grace, my only true friend at the time, was trying to suspend me for sexual harassment.

Now, I could see why. I'm a very open person, I love hugs, ADORE them even. Because I was so loved as a youngin' I felt like I needed physical contact every second of the day. Not only that, but my friends (stupidly and without meaning) had called me a pedophile. Again, it was 6th grade. None of us knew what it really meant.

Before I knew it, a nasty (but later turned out to be true) rumor spread about me. That I, Rachel Weinberg, was a lesbian. And suddenly, I had no one.

No one talked to me.

No one listened to me.

No one invited me to play with them.

No one wanted anything to do with me.

At around the end of 8th grade (almost a year and a half later) I met Caitlin and Lacey. I envied them for their friendship, within them I saw Grace and I again. And so I latched onto them, like a sloth to a tree branch.

Well, it didn't end up so well. I was verbally abused by Caitlin everyday and even now she does it. "Stupid, idiot". I feel like that's all she says to me. The sad part is, I let her walk all over me and convince other people (such as my friend Linda) to walk all over me. Because I want friends, no, I NEED friends.

That is why my friendships need a massage. Or a joint. Either way, I get a break.

Now, in tenth grade, I am transparent. I let people walk all over me, and when I try to stop them they blow it off. They think it's funny that I'm hurt.

But at least I have people like Sam. Although we aren't that close, I know that he'll be there for me. Even if he has a girlfriend who I am not particularly fond of.

Well, maybe I'll talk about this more some other time. I just realized all this as I was driving on the 101 (which is probably not the best time to wonder off into my mind).

I think the inner sloth in my would be proud that I was able to gather my thoughts like this.